I Thought That Was Over!!!

See that expression........that's the way I felt this morning when Mr. Cowboy said, "Oh, wow, look at that wild hog in the back yard!"  As I ran to see slamming my foot into an open cabinet, he said, "April Fool!"

For some reason, I saw stars for a few moments thinking I was finished with those kinds of things. With 29 years of teaching under my belt and almost 11 years of retirement, I had forgotten about the teasing jokes but Mr. Cowboy had me right back in that classroom.

I'm planning a way to get his goat very soon. So stay tuned.

Bird Brain

       Heart pounding, heavy breathing, sweating profusely.....that's what happens after chasing a fledgling bird from my garage. I'd just come home from grocery shopping, which in itself is a torture. 

       With the last load of bags hooped on each arm, I noticed something from the corner of my eye I thought I saw something. But at my age I chalked it up to those floaties that break loose & float across the iris. I closed the garage door & went inside to put up all those groceries. When I went out to do a load of laundry.......once again, there was a blur of movement just out of my line of sight but this time I could have sworn I saw something. And then it happened........a bird flew by my head. Mind you, the garage doors were closed so I'm in an enclosed area with that little bird.

       Let's just say I went one way and the bird went the other for the time being. Of course I raised the doors and you'd think the little critter would fly out those doors but oooooohhhhhh nnnnooooo!

We went round and round and round until I was dizzy, the bird flew up into the loft to perch and looked down his beak accusingly at me. 

       That was it, I had had it!!!! What to do, what to do???

Granddad's shotgun??? Too brutal, plus there's not guarantee that I'd actually hit the little birdie. The pepper spary???? Too over the top and who's to say it wouldn't blow back somehow on me. 

       Think girl, think.

       Lightbulb!! (from Despicable Me - movie)

       Out came two cans of canned air (one of each hand cause I'm an old western fan.....six guns and such).....and it was on again. When all the air was gone, my blood pressure through the roof that little birdie decided to flitter away. I ran for the down buttons and thank goodness, the doors closed and I crawled into the house.

      Can you see the sweat on my brow????? I hope not because after 10 minutes with a cold ice pack on the back of my neck, my blood pressure and breathing finally under control, my shoulders unlocked and my spine relaxed.

      Did I mention that I don't like things that fly, crawl, slither, hop, flutter, gallop, lope, meander, etc.....you get the picture!!

      Note to self: Remember, you live in the country with wildlife so always drive into garage and immediately lower door!!

Grape Jelly

Whew!
 Here's a quick recap of my Mustang grape canning escapades ....

After fermenting over night. The smell is wonderful.

After boiling & simmering for an hour or so.

Here's how the grapes look after I pulverized them a couple of times.

Final results - 4qts, 8pts, 4 half pts.

There are loads more grapes on the vine but do I have the energy to pick and process them. Only time will tell but this old girl is tiring!!!!!!!

While I was canning my Cowboy came in from golfing with his buddies & had changed into his work boots to begin cutting in the hay fields. He decided to leave the golfing attire on. I just had to snap this photo.

Out of My Mind

The hay process has stopped for the moment due to all the wonderful rain we are having here in central-ish Texas. I say that because this type of rainy weather is unheard of in the middle of July in Texas and the temp is 70 degrees but nobody that I've spoken to is complaining.
Anyway, I decided to get in some machine embroidery but first I'd have to load the CD on my new computer. Of course I have forgotten how to do that so I pulled out my trusty Janome Handbook, got out the CD and started to read the instructions.
Aren't you proud of the fact that I actually was reading the instructions!!!!
I got to the part where it mentioned that I'd need to insert the "dongle" when prompted.....
"DONGLE"
......omg......where is my dongle. This is not something that can be easily replaced.
I couldn't remember where I'd put it and if the handbook hadn't shown a picture of it, I'm not sure I'd have remembered what it looked like. This was like losing my MoJo..........omg.......
So, I started searching. I knew it couldn't be in too many places.

1. Looked the my Janome carrying case......not there.
2. Looked in my Janome front storage panel......not there.
3. Looked in several thread drawers under my Janome........not there.

At this point, I began to panic but was still hopeful. I started a more serious search.
I poured out all of the drawers under my machine......btw, that's eight of them and thread, scissors, needles and other sewing paraphernalia were everywhere... (sorry I didn't get a photo of that mess because by then I wasn't thinking clearly....as in hair standing on end, glasses askew, rumpled clothing and frayed nerves)

Have you ever heard that you can't see for looking????
That was me because after ten frantic minutes or so where I'd overlooked the "thing," I found it..........can you say WHEW!!!!

Here's what the dongle looks like. I thanked the Heavens, kissed my dongle and happily had my computer identify it.

By then, I was totally out of the mood to do any machine embroidery.

FYI.........put your dongle where you can easily find it.

Oh my gosh! More & More..............

 

Our local post office lady thought I was a bit nuts asking all kinds of questions about shipping prices nationally and internationally and how much I could cram in the box, close it successfully and tape it tight. She just shook his head and shooed me away after the umpteenth question.......the box weighs 16.4 lbs. Just under the 17 lb. qualification.....Yeeeeeepy!!

Lookie what I found to add to my "big give-away!"

Yes, these books & more are going into the box.....that's why I had to know the weight.

I was so excited when I found the books. Of course I looked through them and thought "oh, why didn't I make that and why am I putting this in the give away!" Who am I kidding? There is no way that I'm going to make all those wonderful projects but maybe someone else will or they can re-gift it to another. Who knows.....I have to tell you, when I was looking through the books, several were duplicates. Has anyone else bought two of something? Good grief, the money I spent....oh well.

If you haven't left a

  comment HERE

to be counted, there's still plenty of time. The only requirement is that you have to be a FOLLOWER of my blog whether it's recent of you're an old timer. I'll announce a winner on June 20th, so tell everyone you know to pop over and leave a comment!!

Now to clear up, hopefully,

 that strange dog silhouette for some of my blogging friend who just couldn't see it.

Said silhouette frontal view

Boxer

Pincers

Can you envision the dog now? LOL 

My silhouette doesn't have eyes. I think that would have helped a bit. I'll do better next time.

Grandma, The Early Years - A True Story

Scampering up the trunk and branches of a China Berry tree to the roof of the house, "They're gone," Hertha (my grandma) shouted to her brothers and sisters as her parents rode out of sight in their wagon. Hertha jumped from the roof and ran to the chicken coop where her mom's setting hens were scratching around for corn kernels. Kenchion grabbed the axe while Clark (Stewie), Hertha and Rosa moved slowly towards an unfortunate hen.

In a cloud of dust plus a few scratches Stewie managed to grab the hen, placed her on the stump.... Poppa Abe used as a chopping block, and Kenchion swung the axe.

Quickly, the girls poured hot water over the body and began to pluck the feathers, loading said feathers into a bucket to be buried somewhere in the field. The job was messy and the smell of wet chicken feathers lingered in the air.

The hen was plucked, washed and cut up, Rosa began to melt the lard, season and flour the bird parts to be fried while Hertha (my grandma) got a big bowl down from the cupboard to bake a cake. Grandma had seen her mom make cakes on many occasions so she figured it would be easy. While the boys held the bowl Hertha (my grandma) began to add flour, eggs, salt, milk and a little too much sugar. "You put too much in, Hertha," Kenchion whined as his arms began to shake from the efforts of holding the bowl. Hertha shooed him to silence and carefully poured the too stiff mix into the cake pan.

Annie B. looked on in disapproval not liking the fact that she was too small to help. She couldn't understand why nobody would let her help and boldly stated that she was going to tell. Not a wise decision on her part as the other siblings turned to glare at her. Threats of being locked in the chicken coop or out in the barn with the horse and even worse locked in the outhouse convinced Annie B. that telling was not a good idea at all.

Rosa's chicken was frying up nicely while Hertha's cake smelled sweetly from the oven. Everyone's mouth began to water as the table was quickly set for the meal.

The kids all gathered around the table with Stewie heading the table. The chicken was tasty but the cake was way too sweet but no one complained, not even Annie B.

Bones, lard and any remains of the meal were fed to the hogs, slopping as it's known here in Texas. The kitchen was aired out and Annie B. was warned to keep her mouth shut once more as Poppa Abe and Great-grandma Dollie rounded the corner for home.

The next morning Great-grandma Dollie (Hertha's mom and my great-grandma)  was out in the coop rounding up eggs when she missed one of her setting hens. Puzzled, she asked the children about the hen's whereabouts...... with blank looks......no one knew anything, not even Annie B.

My grandma....

My grandma....

My grandma.......look at that innocent face...who would have guessed that in her youth the mischief she and her siblings got into.

 

If you've made it this far, you are in for a great give-away.

The other day I was looking through my UFOs and came across this rooster and nine chickens from my "Yard Birds" design.

 I'd already made a couple of quilts from my pattern so I don't remember what or why I had prepared these. They are only glued down with my favorite adhesive....Steam-a-Seam so all that's needed is for them to be sewn down.

Now, here's what's required to win them......you "must" be a FOLLOWER of my blog or become a FOLLOWER of my blog. That's it.

 Leave only 1 comment to say what you thought of grandma's colorful adventure in the kitchen & also in that same comment mention that you are a FOLLOWER or that you have just become a FOLLOWER.

I usually don't require that you follow when doing a give away but this is a special post for me.

I'll announce a winner at the end of the week.

 

One more thing.................

 

 

And finally, I've had to do another random pick for the "Kitty Cat" mug rug due to a non-comment, which means I had no way to notify the winner.

Here's the new winner

Guilitta!

Congratulations to you. Just leave a comment so that we can get together via email.

 

 

Mudding? At My Age!!!

The other day I had to drive out in one of the pastures. Normally this would have been a routine drive, counting heifers, calves, looking for dead or broken branches on the fences.....you know, if you've ever lived on or near a farm.

This particular day I happened upon the first photo you see below. I'd gone though that gap many time but unbeknownst to me, the tractor had made several trips that was as well. Did I mention the tractor has large tires that make deep ruts........very deep ruts.

To make a long story short.....I got stuck.....all four tires.......the jeep has a 4-wheel drive thingy which was absolutely NO help at all.....none, zilch, nada!!!!!

After sitting there, spinning my wheels literally....I got my honey's attention. He slowly made his way over in the bulldozer, hooked up a heavy chain to the front bumper thingy, reversed the dozer and gingerly pulled me out. I was mortified that I'd gotten stuck but then he told me about the ruts made by the tractor which made me feel slightly better.

I know the jeep didn't have that much mud on it but the first thing I thought of was my boys would get a kick out of my "mudding" experience.

BTW, I'm 58 and this experience is not one I wish to repeat....ever!!

I hope everyone enjoys their weekend.

 

Milkshake and Half-sisters

Here's Milkshake with two of her half-sisters. Aren't they cute??  I know you can't see it because of their coloring and my poor camera skills but all three calves have that Nike mark over the eye. I was shocked and laughed so hard when I saw the marks that I nearly fell out of the back of the truck. As you can see one of the little ones was coming over to see what's so funny.

 

And I couldn't post without showing you what BB (Buzzard Bait) is up to. She's the off white one who now weighs around 400 pounds. She's waiting patiently for me to open the gate so that she can be the first to get to the range cubes. She loves those "cookies" for sure. She hasn't seen her little sisters yet but one of these days she just might go for a visit.

 I forgot to mention in my Starburst post the other day that anyone who wishes to make a starburst from my design is free to do so. I don't remember from time to time how many half squares there are (around 36 I think) that's why I always keep the design in front of me....LOL.....also, the little chart above is one I found years ago, I think it's from Eleanor  Burns, but it's saved me from figuring so much when making half squares. Sorry about the slanted photo.

 

 

 

 

A Bridge Too Far

Well, actually it's a crossing but very scary. Have I mentioned that I don't like bridges!  If you're wondering why I'm posting about this particular photo, let me just say that across that planked bridge is little "Buzzard Bait/Sugar & Cream," the calf.

Some of you may remember her plight and shaky start to life.

Click HERE if you'd like to read all about it.

So where was I? On yea.....She'd somehow gotten away from her mother and is now lost. Where is her mom you ask???? Her attention is  busily munching on bales of hay with the those heifers. It fell to me to shoo little Buzzard Bait back towards her mommy.

OMG, are you kidding me!!!!

This is not happening. Did I mention that I really don't like to get involved with cows and babies.  I parked the Jeep and walked over the bridge. Sorry, no photos of the walking across said planked bridge but I know you can use your imaginations on this one. 

Finally, I m' safely across but where is that pesky calf?? In the underbrush, way back in that thicket stands little Buzzard Bait staring at me.

Did I mention that I don't like tight spaces! 

Needless to say, I lost my cap, dropped my glasses, nearly stepped on them and wound up with several scratches before little Buzzard Bait bolted for the herd. It's very difficult to get sand off the lenses of one's glasses.

 

She went straight for her momma and the milk. I'll retrieve my cap another day, cause I'm headed for the house and a nice long very hot bath! Where's I park that Jeep?

I'm okay, really!

 

 

 After I recouped and downed a couple of aspirin, I got busy on a mug rug that I'd been playing around with. I love green fabrics and have loads of scraps laying around waiting for a project. Decided to do a turtle. 

Seaweed or Kelp

Turtle pre-stitching faze

After stitching.

 Now all that's left is the quilting. This little guy will appear in one of my

Thursday give aways very soon.

Hope everyone is having a peaceful week rather than the type of strenuous time I've had.

I Kid You Not

For those of you who know me, my history with animals and insects, will appreciate this little encounter.  Saturday afternoon, I watered my little garden, walked around the yard for a time and headed back into the house for dinner. Mom and I had a pleasant dinner and as I was clearing the table, I looked out on my back porch area and spotted this critter just standing there eyeballing Mom and me through the sliding glass doors.
Can you say..... Eeeeeeeeeek!
OMG, that's a buzzard.........a ..... buzzzzzz.......ard!
After I stopped screaming and running around in a circle, I grabbed my camera, cause that what us blogger do..... we are always looking for a photo op..... although this was NOT what I had in mind.
I was able to snap 3 photos before he hopped off over the fence and into the field.
Whew! That was close. I think his wing is broken or injured because he made no attempt to fly and believe me I was shooing him away with vigor!!
I don't know if you can see it but look closely at his beak area.... there's a hole in that area..... yep, a hole. That's his perforated nostrils. To learn more about the Turkey Vulture click on the LINK. It will tell you more than you want to know, believe me.

I hope that the poor vulture/buzzard, as they are known here in Texas, get well or moves on... if this keeps up, I just might have to check into a "nervous hospital"....... for those of you who are fans of Sling Blade, you will recognize that little phrase.

"It's a Dessert Topping, You Cow!"

Warning: This post is not meant to offend anyone.

Rhonda , one of my favorite blogging friends (click on her name to visit her blog) was talking about making her own vinegar the other day....... oh some of you are wondering if I've lost it because my name's Rhonda, too..... lol..... anyway, she was talking about making her on vinegar and how that it's also used to clean things such as glass, stains, etc. As I was reading her how-to, I just started laughing and couldn't seem to stop.
Maybe you should visit Rhonda's blog on vinegar before you finish my blog post...... it will make more sense or maybe not......... confused????
Does anyone remember Chevy Chase and Gilda Radner from the early 1970's Saturday Night Live doing a skit with some weird white foamy stuff in a spritz can. Gilda kept saying that the white stuff was a great floor cleaner and furniture polish and Chevy said it was a dessert topping. It went back and forth for awhile when finally Chevy got fed up and snapped, "It's a dessert topping, you cow!"  I know, I know I'm weird but that was funny, I don't care who you are.  In other words, multi-purpose item.
Anyway, pop over to Rhonda's blog and read all about making your own vinegar. It's a money saving tip, especially if you're into preserving foods and making your own salad dressings.

Please Don't Adjust Your Screen

If you're wondering why my bird feeder is askew, I'll tell you...... a raccoon got to it.  Yep, you heard correctly, a raccoon.  Did I mention I don't like anything that's furry and wears a mask!
I love watching the tweeters as they feed and flutter around the feeder and all was well until the other night. By morning, the feeder was on the ground with no bird food in sight. I refilled the feeder and it happened again, so I tied the feeder to a branch of the Crepe Myrtle and to a metal rod thinking there was no way the little critter could get to the bird food..... silly me! The little bandit's paws are very similar to a human's.  Those little digets pulled, tuged, pinched and proded until the feeder wound up in the position you are looking at. It reeked of "in your face, human!"
I've now resorted to bringing in the feeder at dusk but believe you me, something will come to mind very soon.  Score one of the raccoon.

I Couldn't Make This Up......

I'm back with another "hog" story from the cousins. You may remember the 3 guys and a boar story from weeks ago. I linked to it if you missed all the excitement.  At that time I forgot my camera but this time I had it.  Take a look at this wild hog.  You are looking at 170 pounds of very disturbed hog.  He was not happy. Just look at the frothing mouth ...... not happy one bit!
The cousins (my cousins who are brothers) had somehow managed to get him into their trailer to transport to the town market.  By the time I walked over to the pen, the cousins were breathing heavily and celebrating with high fives and beer.
They were laughin' and reliving the event when suddenly the hog charged the trailer, scaring the living daylights out of cousin #1.  Sorry, no photo of that one.  Beer went everywhere and cousin #1 managed to knock into cousin #3 spilling his beer.  Cousin #2 was choking with laughter when the hog charged again, teeth slashing and tearing into the metal of the trailer, bellowing and squealing something awful.
With that, the cousins took to colorful language, more rounds of beer so I decided to depart.
Cousin #1 told me later that the hog brought a pretty penny.  I just happy that the critter is gone because if he were to get into my garden ...... let's just say I'd have to take a dim view of that situation.

Bigger Than Me!

A funny thing happened to me the other day, well funny now ...... as most of you know, I don't do cows even though I live on a farm and own some cattle. Let me remind you that I don't like anything that crawls, slithers, flies, hops, skitters, gallops, buzzes, lopes ...... are you getting the picture ..... LOL
Anyway, this crazy old girl, better known as, Mad Mattie, at least that what I call her. She's a cross of Brahma and Hereford (tiger-stripe). Mattie is very protective of her new baby and believe me, I didn't want to get near the little thing. It was purely by accident that I got between her and the little one ..... needless to say ..... I had to make a run for it to get out of her way ...... landed in some very moist cow poop ...... sorry, I'll spare you a photo of that trauma. 
Where was I, oh yes, the baby was following me, I think out of curosity but mama was not happy with that one little bit.  My heart was pounding in my chest, my mouth was dry and I couldn't focus on an escape route ...... Mattie was gaining on me and fast ...... One plow part and a fence later, I was free of the curious little calf and her "crazy" mama.
I really hate cows, LOL .... no, I'm serious, I think!

3 Men and a Big Boar

True story:

I live in a small community and am surrounded by cousins, friends close family. The other evening around dusk, I heard a commotion in my cousin's hay field. At first I ignored it but as time past I donned a light jacket, boots, cap and my trusty shotgun and walk over to investigate.
So that I don't embarrass them, I'll reference them as Bro.1 (the oldest - 60ish), Bro.2 (50ish) and Bro.3 (30ish) Here's the scene. The brothers had rigged up a hog trap out of some sort of metal panels and some hapless hog was now trapped inside....so the brothers are trying to figure out a way to get the hog into a cow trailer to be transported to out local hog dealer, for lack of a better description. So here's where all the fun comes in......
Bro.2: Hey, why don't we try to turn him towards the trailer?
Bro.1: What do you think we've been tryin' to do for the past hour.....he shouted?
Bro.2: Well I'm only tryin' to help.
 Bro.1 is muttering to himself - "%$&*!~>*}
I caught some of the words but can repeat them in mixed company....LOL
Bro.2: Here's a thought, you (meaning Bro.1) could get in the pen with that board we got in my truck and hold it in front of you and guide him in the trailer.
Bro.3: Man, are you crazy...that hog is quick and now he's mad, it ain't gonna work. Don't do it.
Bro:1: Don't worry cause I'm not gettin' in a pen with many wild hog......why don't you get in Bro.2?
Bro.2: I would but I'm not as young as I use to be.
Laughs
Bro.3: Nobody's as young as they use to be....that didn't make any sense, fool.
Bro.1: Stop talkin' and think, it's gettin' late and I haven't eaten all day.
Bro.2: Here we go! Blame it on me, why don't you. It ain't my fault you didn't stop to eat a lunch.

By now, if you've ever heard of "hog wild," that's what the trapped hog is acting. He's chargin' the pen, snorting, his head is down, eyes red, beady and wild. The hairs at his neck are standing straight up and spiked. He is nearly glowing with unleashed rage..... I'm thinking of pointing that out to the brothers when the hog charges straight for a weaken link in the pen......OMG.....
I did offer my shotgun and Bro.1 said, "Don't tempt me."
They finally decide to rope the big critter.....I'm thinking there's going to be trouble with a capital "T"
Bro.1 is the best at roping but for some reason Bro.3 decided to try is hand at it........30 tries later and a lot of swearing Bro. 1 wrestles the rope away to give it a shot.
Bingo! The hog is roped....sort of......by the right front hoof.......oh dear.
I am nearly doubled over with laughter and the 3 attempt to drag the hog into the trailer.
The hog is having none of it.  He is snorting, trying to back.....well, he is backing up and pulling 3 grown men with him.....where is my camera, you might ask......back at the home......shoot!
With one hoof at an awkward position high in the air beside he head, this hog is a force to be reconin' with.  His tusks are mean looking and the squealing sounds are enough to raise the dead.
After about 10 minutes of wrestling with the hog....the guys finally get the upper hand and maneuvers the hog into the trailer and slammed the gate.
 Whew!
I asked if Bro:1 wanted a sandwich but he turned me down with a weak shake of his head.  All the brothers slumped into the truck with the trailered hog and drove off to the sale.
Later on, Bro.3 told me that the hog weighed in at 260 lbs. They made a pretty penny and finally ate something in town.