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Jul 24, 2013

Mother Knows Best

Last year mom had heart surgery and came through it amazingly, phrase God! Her doctors and ICU nurses were amazing and very kind. You can never thank them enough but I tried verbally and with some of my canned pickles.
I said all that just to get to this next part.......Erma Bombeck!   
Some of you may remember her, a columnist, humorist and mom. I reread her book (Forever, Erma) when my mom was in the hospital back then. It got me though a couple of tough moments.  I ran across the book last night and thought I need to share it with my blogging friends. You just might get a chuckle from the excerpts her son wrote as an assignment in 1975.

"Things My Mother Taught Me"

  • Logic:  "if you fall off that swing and break your neck, you are not going to the store with me."
  • Optimism:  "You are going to enjoy yourself at that birthday party or I am going to break every bone in your body."
  • ESP:  "Put on the sweater! Don't you think I know when you are cold"
  • Science:  "You put your hand out the car window and it will blow off."
  • Finance:  "I told you the tooth fairy is writing checks because computerized billing is easier for the IRS."
  • Challenge:  "Where is your sister and don't talk with food in your mouth. Answer me!"
  • Ethics:  "If you are too busy to take out the garbage, you are too busy to need an allowance."
  • Genealogy:  "Shut the door. Were you born in a barn?"
  • Suspense:  "Can you guess what I found under your bed today?"
  • Humor:  "Stop monkeying around because when that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me." 


Gene Black said...

I loved reading Bombeck. She was a true humorist.

Tammy said...

I have never read any Emma Bombeck..Maybe I should read her..It sound slike stuff my Moma used to say...But with 4 kids i am sure she had to come up with very creative things to keep us all in line.

lefuntz said...

I was adopted as a baby. I grew up always knowing that I was adopted, wanted and loved. Over the years I heard many rude comments from people, including my ex mother-in-law, about my mother not being my real mother. Many years ago Erma Bombeck wrote a newspaper article (remember newspapers?) on stepfathers and what a real father is. I cut it out and mailed it to my mother. We lived just a few miles away from each other but often mailed each other little snippets. This article was about stepfathers being real fathers but it was also how I felt about my parents. In 2001 my mother had a massive stroke and passed away 2 months later. I found that article in her wallet. She had carried it with her for over 20 years. It was what I talked about at her memorial. She was my real mother. Yes, I love Erma Bombeck!

Quilting Nonnie said...

I remember Erma Bombeck. I loved the pieces she wrote that made me laugh. Several of her more serious ones helped me out along bumpy roads. She wrote one about Dads being like the refrigerator light that you never knew if it was on when you closed the door. Her father died when she was young. Mine did too. I still get teary eyed when I read it. Thanks for a good memory today.


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