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Dec 22, 2011

"Rules"

Christmas Cookie Rules
  1. If you eat a Christmas cookie fresh out of the oven, it has no calories because everyone knows that the first cookie is the test and thus calorie free.
  2. If you drink a diet soda after eating your second cookie, it also has no calories because the diet soda cancels out the cookie calories.
  3. If a friend comes over while you're making your Christmas cookies and needs to sample, you must sample with your friend.  Because your friend's first cookie is calories free, (rule #1) yours is also.  It would be rude to let your friend sample alone, and being the friend that you are, that makes your cookie calorie free.
  4. Any cookie calories consumed while walking around will fall to your feet and eventually fall off as you move.  This is due to gravity and the density of the caloric mass.
  5. Any calories consumed during the frosting of the Christmas cookies will be used up because it takes many calories to lick excess frosting from a knife without cutting your tongue.
  6. Cookies colored red or green have very few calories.  Red ones have three and the green ones have five..... one calorie for each letter.  Make more red ones!
  7. Cookies eaten while watching "Miracle on 34th Street" have no calories because they are part of the entertainment package and not part of one's personal fuel.
  8. As always, cookie pieces contain no calories because the process of breaking causes calorie leakage.
  9.  Any cookies consumed from someone else's plate have no calories since the calories rightfully belong to the other person and will cling to their plate.  We all know ho calories like to CLING!
  10. Any cookies consumed while feeling stressed out have no calories because cookies used for "medicinal" purposes never have calories.  
It's a rule!  So, go out and enjoy those Christmas Cookies.... we only get them once a year.
Merry Christmas everyone!

8 comments:

Pat said...

LOVE this and might steal it!!!

Doniene said...

You always make me laugh!!!! Love this!!

Merry Christmas - eat those cookies yeah!!

Barb said...

Tooo funny!!

Have a very Merry Christmas!!!!

Lis Style said...

So happĂœ to have found you!
I´ll come visiting often.

Wish you a Merry Xmas.

Beatriz

casiinhadechocolate.blogspot.com and
lisstyle@blogspot.com

The Calico Cat said...

Jacob & I are going to make cookies this afternoon. :o)

Heidi said...

Merry Christmas and lots of joy to you in the new Year!
...and you go ahead and enjoy those cookies!

Molly Mandeville Fryer said...

DANGGGG! I wish I had known this before I ate all those cookies yesterday!! Precious Pearl--you are just full of it , aren't you--and you look so damn cute in that hat!! Love you!

Quilter Kathy said...

This is a riot! And I'm sure every word is true! LOL

;-}

Don't count the days, make the days count!

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