Armed To The Teeth

I looked high and I looked low. I searched under bushes, under my little shed, across the fence, inside the water hose containers, around the mailbox and even inside the water meter........do you know what I found????  Not Mr. Snake........oh    nnoooooooooooo!.............I found several spiders big enough to take down a new born calf............I giant moth with those fluttering WINGS and those feather like antennas....................several black beetles with the hard outer shells and six prickly legs that attach themselves to ones clothing........How do I know this little known fact, you might ask.................well......don't....... Where was I.......oh yea, a couple of yellow-jacket nests..............a few million ants............did I mention that I have several species in my yard................but I digress.................a lizard, who scared me to death when he bolted from underneath a rock.......can you say heart-attack.

The hummers were mad at me for disturbing their feeding frenzy....the tiny little demons actually dive bombed me.......I mean really!

The mail lady gave me some curious looks........I think it was the shotgun that got her attention.........I say that because she sped off in a cloud of dust right after noticing that I was packin' heat..........my neighbor's dog ran under his house.......I haven't seen him since then.....................BUT........I saw hide nor hair of Mr. Snake..............so he lives to see another day................but.......  I'll be watching and waiting.