True story:
I live in a small community and am surrounded by cousins, friends close family. The other evening around dusk, I heard a commotion in my cousin's hay field. At first I ignored it but as time past I donned a light jacket, boots, cap and my trusty shotgun and walk over to investigate.
So that I don't embarrass them, I'll reference them as Bro.1 (the oldest - 60ish), Bro.2 (50ish) and Bro.3 (30ish) Here's the scene. The brothers had rigged up a hog trap out of some sort of metal panels and some hapless hog was now trapped inside....so the brothers are trying to figure out a way to get the hog into a cow trailer to be transported to out local hog dealer, for lack of a better description. So here's where all the fun comes in......
Bro.2: Hey, why don't we try to turn him towards the trailer?
Bro.1: What do you think we've been tryin' to do for the past hour.....he shouted?
Bro.2: Well I'm only tryin' to help.
Bro.1 is muttering to himself - "%$&*!~>*}
I caught some of the words but can repeat them in mixed company....LOL
Bro.2: Here's a thought, you (meaning Bro.1) could get in the pen with that board we got in my truck and hold it in front of you and guide him in the trailer.
Bro.3: Man, are you crazy...that hog is quick and now he's mad, it ain't gonna work. Don't do it.
Bro:1: Don't worry cause I'm not gettin' in a pen with many wild hog......why don't you get in Bro.2?
Bro.2: I would but I'm not as young as I use to be.
Laughs
Bro.3: Nobody's as young as they use to be....that didn't make any sense, fool.
Bro.1: Stop talkin' and think, it's gettin' late and I haven't eaten all day.
Bro.2: Here we go! Blame it on me, why don't you. It ain't my fault you didn't stop to eat a lunch.
By now, if you've ever heard of "hog wild," that's what the trapped hog is acting. He's chargin' the pen, snorting, his head is down, eyes red, beady and wild. The hairs at his neck are standing straight up and spiked. He is nearly glowing with unleashed rage..... I'm thinking of pointing that out to the brothers when the hog charges straight for a weaken link in the pen......OMG.....
I did offer my shotgun and
Bro.1 said, "Don't tempt me."
They finally decide to rope the big critter.....I'm thinking there's going to be trouble with a capital "T"
Bro.1 is the best at roping but for some reason Bro.3 decided to try is hand at it........30 tries later and a lot of swearing Bro. 1 wrestles the rope away to give it a shot.
Bingo! The hog is roped....sort of......by the right front hoof.......oh dear.
I am nearly doubled over with laughter and the 3 attempt to drag the hog into the trailer.
The hog is having none of it. He is snorting, trying to back.....well, he is backing up and pulling 3 grown men with him.....where is my camera, you might ask......back at the home......shoot!
With one hoof at an awkward position high in the air beside he head, this hog is a force to be reconin' with. His tusks are mean looking and the squealing sounds are enough to raise the dead.
After about 10 minutes of wrestling with the hog....the guys finally get the upper hand and maneuvers the hog into the trailer and slammed the gate.
Whew!
I asked if Bro:1 wanted a sandwich but he turned me down with a weak shake of his head. All the brothers slumped into the truck with the trailered hog and drove off to the sale.
Later on, Bro.3 told me that the hog weighed in at 260 lbs. They made a pretty penny and finally ate something in town.